The Grass is Always Greener When it Rains...

...it's true. Everything looks greener when it rains. And who doesn't like green?

Well my first post went crazy long and normally I wont be writing quite as much because, let's face it, I have a life. So unless I become inspired again, don't expect something as deep and long as that one.

My problems, they're a gettin rougher... haha but in all seriousness, I need to chill sometimes. It's like I can't just be satisfied with the way my life is and the whole "not being able to make decisions" thing just contributes to everything. Usually in these situations I feel like if I can't choose, maybe neither choice is the right one for me. Either way, I have been weighing the positives and negatives of both choices (yes, I've sort of been able to move away from 3...and those of you who know what I'm talking about already know that). So as I covered yesterday, I need to spend more time getting to know boys before anything can happen with them. I wonder if that should include holding hands. Should it include falling asleep next to a person? Actually, I'm pretty sure it should include falling asleep next to someone because even when there was nothing going on with someone, that always gave me feelings... and I continuously make impulsive decisions when I am tired. Oh dear. This brings me to another point: why is it that I never had trouble sleeping next to someone before like this year? For some reason it has gotten increasingly difficult to share my bed. I sort of really want my bed from home. I miss it. Ehh, I can't be longing for what I can't have though, that defeats the purpose of life. Maybe this is a good thing. It may keep me sleeping alone and sleeping peacefully. I sound like a bad person now, haha I literally mean sharing a bed and that is all. I hope that is obvious. I still think my best friend was right when he said it was a bad idea to share a bed with someone I might have feelings for. He said that almost two years ago and I should have taken his advice back then. But at the same time I thought he was a bit of a hypocrite for saying that and then sharing a bed with me. Not that there were feelings going on at that point really, but it was still dangerous. I wonder if he still believes what he said. I asked him, he does. Okay, time to change my life!

Peace&Love&Rain!