Update!

So Sen10r Week was crazy and I hardly had enough time for sleeping let alone posting to my blog (trust me, every time I attempted to I fell asleep). Then this past week was hectic as well with me moving home and then a death in the family, a trip back up to visit my school friends, and then a cousin going to prom. On a positive note, I got a new bike today!! It was a birthday present that I just got to pick out.

I really cannot believe I graduated college. It seems so surreal. Graduation day was awesome; I held the wing-nuts, lol. The next step for me now is finding a job. I really hope I find a place soon, too, because I really can't afford much else. I hate spending money and I have to at least on Tuesday because some of my friends want to hang out and that means eating at some restaurant that I'm going to spend at least $20 at.

Also, I'm in process of planning a beach trip (!!!!!) with the boy and I need to save my money for that. It's not so bad right now, and I have a last pay check still coming from my school job, but I really do need to save money. I am so excited for this, and I really cannot wait!!

I've really been trying to conquer the neediness lately because we are far away and it's getting a little easier since I know he can't just come over whenever I want him to. I miss him most days but tonight I'm acting all insecure and jealous. I know that it's easy to brush that off as silly, but I just get protective but also scared because it's not like we are dating and I have a reason to despise other girls...I really have a problem. This is my cue that I have become way too involved. I mean, I know labels are not important to him or whatever and that I haven't really been there 100%, but I did try to be honest and felt guilty about everything that was going on. I mean maybe I was guarding myself from jumping into a relationship right away, but it was mainly because of my other unfinished business. Thinking about it though, I clearly made my choice when I started hanging out with him after that first night though because wasn't it just the night before that I avoided someone else? If I really felt strongly for the first person to begin with I wouldn't have moved on so easily, but if I didn't care as much, I would have walked away at the first chance and not waited for the other one. So even though I've made my choice, I know it can still be difficult. I mean, even after I knew what I wanted I still faltered when I was drunk. So why should finding the right person be so difficult? It must be because the right one is hard to find. I know that seems repetitive, but I have been thinking a lot about it all lately and it seems that even if there is any doubt I get nervous. And now my stomach is entirely twisted because I don't know how to feel because I am already invested and don't want to get hurt. I've been hurt too much and found out it was wrong too often to be able to be okay with this. I'll get past it, but the distance doesn't help. Okay well I better go, I want to think about the fun things like planning a mini vacation with him :-) I have been daydreaming about it all day and cannot wait!!!!!

Peace&Love&Waves

I graduated!!

As promised, my list of things I've accomplished during my college career!

1. Attend service retreat
2. Get pushed in the lake
3. La Festa
4. Walk for a cause
5. Eat a “Fat Bitch” from the Meaner Weiner
6. Gone to a house party
7. Kiss in a stairwell
8. First drink
9. Climbed the trains
10. Attend retreats
11. Dress up for Halloween
12. Drank in a dorm room
13. Took shots in Disney
14. Play strip poker
15. Go sleigh riding on a tray from the cafeteria
16. Go see the gorge/step in it
17. Get thrown in the lake
18. Get a cartilage piercing
19. Dance in the cage at Tinks
20. Learn to play Magic the Gathering
21. First legal drink and gambling in a casino
22. Jump in the cold lake in the middle of the night
23. Attend a school dance
24. Get my ears pierced
25. Do a scavenger hunt around campus
26. Go on an epic adventure to see my favorite band
27. Go skinny dipping in the lake
28. Attend a Presidential Election Rally on campus
29. Play World of Warcraft
30. Road Trip to another friend’s college
31. Pump gas all by myself
32. Get an internship
33. Go to DC
34. First legal drink in this country
35. Attend a bar crawl
36. Sing karaoke
37. Help plan and work at a walk for a cause
38. Go to a conference in Chicago
39. Lead a retreat
40. Step on the frozen lake
41. Go to a conference in DC
42. Drink on a snow day
43. Make an epic snow-woman on campus
44. Drank on Parade Day
45. Show up to class drunk/Drink during class
46. Attend a keg race
47. Pee with a friend
48. Jump in the fountain
49. Ride a motorcycle
50. Jump out of a plane
51. Take a flaming shot
52. Learn the dance to Thriller
53. Get hot and sweaty on the third floor of the lake house
54. Graduate!!!

Peace&Love&Graduation!!

Let's Do the Time Warp Again!

The lake house was awesome, Thriller is coming together, I have little time to type before I pass out from exhaustion but I promise I will get through the events of this week eventually. Possibly on Friday.

Peace&Love&THRILLER!

All she wants to do is dance!

...and make romance.

Ahh dancing...thriller...all I can say for now...

Peace&Love&Dance!

It is really still Sunday

Okay so I slipped up and forgot to post before midnight so this is my Sunday post. More later.

Peace&Love&Lateness

Life To Do List

As of March 23rd, 2009 this is my "Life To Do List" or "Bucket List". I will hopefully accomplish some before I die, lol. This may have changed since but the basic gist of it is still there so I felt the need to put it up given my recent accomplishments!

Life To Do List:

1. fall in love

2. get married and have a family

3. climb a mountain

4. sky diving [CHECK]

5. water skiing

6. snorkeling

7. bungee jumping

8. feel like I’m flying

9. tattoo

10. swim in the Pacific Ocean

11. sing in an 80’s hair metal band

12. get two more cartilage piercings (left ear)

13. see all of the great lakes

14. visit every US state

15. go on a cruise

16. gorge jumping

17. kiss in the pouring rain [CHECK]

18. climb a big tree

19. write a book – and actually finish it for a change

20. hike the Grand Canyon

21. have a picnic on the beach while watching the sunset (this means it has to be on the west coast)

22. meet Kate Pierson

23. go up the Eiffel Tower

24. go up the Statue of Liberty

25. conquer a fear

Peace&Love&Rain

PS it rained.

And I said "Someday I hope you get the chance to Live Like You Were Dying!"

Yes, you have heard correctly. "I went SKKKYYYYYDIVING!" It was so freaking awesome that I just cannot wait to go again! Everyone who said they wanted to go though pretty much backed out because of lack of money. Which sucks because it's cheaper there than anywhere else. The experience was amazing and everyone was so friendly! It helped that I went with my friend who's sister and brother-in-law work there, but I was not even nervous at all. The most nerve racking part was putting my mom's name down on my emergency contacts and worrying about telling her... and then of course I had to worry about telling her about how I rode on a motorcycle as well... she was not too happy today. Now I know she is going to worry about me but I just wanted to come clean. I guess I shouldn't have just yelled it at her and my dad as they were leaving though. I think they expect more from me and are a little angry because now they have to worry about me on top of worrying about my sister... oh well. I'm really not that daring on a regular basis, haha.

So the Performance Music Bar Crawl was last night and it was awesome! We got back late from the skydiving because there was a little trouble with the planes beforehand (I know, I'm actually pretty crazy for going to begin with and not even worry) but we met up with everyone at the second bar and it was great! At the third bar I went to we all got flaming shots which was also pretty badass... I was pretty proud of myself and my day yesterday. I got home late, on the way home it turned 1:15 and my friend and I started singing Lady Antebellum at each other and some dude walking by looked at the time and was like "nice!" Haha it was totally awesome. In case anyone is unfamiliar with the song... "It's a quarter after 1, I'm a little drunk and I neeeeeed you now!" So it was pretty perfect. Then we got back to my apt, ordered pizza, and started watching WALL-E. Basically everyone started falling asleep so it didn't last long. I think last night I was too rebellious for my own good and tripped up on my plan but I think I can let it slip if it doesn't happen again. I think we were both getting a little too aware of how quickly this is coming to an end, me being back in Jersey so soon. Hopefully we can figure out a way to continue being close without being in close proximity to each other because I really want that. Well, we shall see!

This morning I FINALLY completed my last paper as an undergraduate student. I feel sort of accomplished, sort of sad, and sort of scared that it wasn't my best. I am just praying that I pass all my classes at this point though and hoping that I will indeed graduate. I am still extremely nervous about Italian because I hated and struggled through that class. My choices in courses this semester was a bit silly but at least it is over now.

My parents came up to pick up a bunch of my things and now my room looks sort of empty, sort of a mess. It's kind of weird to have a messy empty room but whatever. I think I'll try to pack everything else up in a bit before going out to celebrate my friend's birthday. I got invited to so many things tonight that I don't know what I am doing but hopefully I'll figure it out.

I found my ring while I was packing/cleaning. I am so excited about it because it's been missing for a month and I thought I lost it at the mall. Also I got a dress for graduation. My mom and sister picked it out and I tried it on. It looks great and it's white which is what I wanted so I'm happy. I also got new shoes to go with it. And for my birthday my aunt bought me a Coach wristlet that goes pretty well also. I am so excited to wear the outfit, but not for what it means. Still don't want to leave. Well, what can I do? Nothing really. Anyways, I should go. I will be making yesterday and the other day that I missed up to you avid readers by doing a double post today.

Peace&Love&Freedom!